The Hills: an aftermath update – week 7

Love triangles and seduction (Photo by Oreos via Wikimedia).

Last week Kristen was still gunning for Brody, Heidi wouldn’t leave the baby talk alone despite the new puppies in her life, and Audrina poured her heart out to Justin to which he flashed his James Dean look while explaining it just won’t work. Oh and Spencer looked into getting a vasectomy but then backed down after graphic photos and the phrase, “it’s considered permanent.”

This week begins with yet another lunch date between Brody and Kristen discussing Jayde. I don’t know why Jayde is so worried about Kristen hanging out with Brody. They can’t have a conversation without bringing her name up. Anyways, during lunch Kristen reveals that Jayde contacted her to meet up and discuss what is going on in their love triangle. Brody know this is a bad move and suggests that Kristen stays away from Jayde; but how is he suppose to stop two girls fighting over the same guy?

I had money down that this was going to be a battle royal. Kristen and Jade are strong women and know what they want. When two strong women fight against each other for the same prize, it can get nasty because most of the time neither will want to back down.

Unfortunately it didn’t turn out exactly as I was thinking. There was no hair pulling, dress destroying or missing teeth. Jayde basically explained that Brody is with her, even though he’s technically not, and ended with, “you [Kristen] need to go back to wherever you came from.”  Harsh words, but nothing that wasn’t expected.

Over in Speidiland, Heidi returns to the psychologist that gave counseling to her and her hubby before they were married. Heidi explains the whole baby debate; she wants babies and Spencer doesn’t. The doctor is pretty much in shock and tells Heidi there are many things couples need to be clear on before getting married; like whether or not they want to have kids. Heidi believes Spencer wants babies but doesn’t realize it yet. She thinks it’s a good idea to go off birth control and “surprise” Spencer with her pregnancy.

I didn’t know there were women out there who still believed this.  Having a baby by a pre-planned accident will not get a man to love you more or want to have a family. Especially if he’s been preaching how much he doesn’t want children, and avoids all contact with children. No matter how the idea is twisted it will not work out in baby favor. Ever.

Back in the love triangle, after the quarrel between Kristen and Jayde, Jayde meets up with Brody to talk about her discussion with Kristen and how things lie between her and Brody. After a few minutes of bickering and Brody clarifying his disgust for their fights, Jayde breaks the cycle first by using a cute little smile, head tilt, along with an “I love you.”

Brody is a guy. It doesn’t take long until he meets back up with Kristen and explains that he’s working things out with Jayde. Poor Kristen. A queen bee had to emerge eventually and Jayde pretty much stomped on Kristen’s hive. Oh well, there will always be other boys.

Did I mention Justin called Kristen and left a voice message clarifying that he officially broke things off with Audrina? When I said there will be other boys, I meant the other love triangle she was involved in. If it’s not one, it’s the other. Where’s the fun if she can’t date a guy that isn’t semi-involved with another woman? It’s pretty much 80% of the show.

To get Spencer on the right track, Heidi dolls up their home with candles, a sexy outfit and a homemade meal. Spencer walks in the door pondering what Heidi could be up to. Heidi lets Spencer know that the whole baby drama was her fault and she wants to make it up to him by being a good wife. Yes Spencer, bite into the delicious red apple. It will taste so good, and make you feel so much better.

The show ends with Kristen and Stacey hanging out at the Malibu pad frustrated over men. What’s best to do when frustrated over men? Vegas! They pack up and get ready to ditch the Hollywood hills for a party all weekend in Vegas.

Check in next week for another aftermath update of The Hills.