The classy, the ugly, and flat-out weird of the 2009 VMA’s

By Alex Wright | September 14, 2009

It’s that time of year again! The VMA’s have returned to the Empire City to host its 27^th annual Video Music Awards at New York’s prestigious Radio City Music Hall, where it all started in 1984.

You could feel it in the air, all around you, while in church, or at work, counting down the hours until you could gather at home with family and friends to rip apart every glitzy, preposterous, outrageous and sometimes just flat out wrong moments of this infamous evening of television. And this year, there was a lot to gab over.

Seems like year after year, the fashion gets crazier and crazier. We have headed in a direction of “futuristic” fashion where for some… it just isn’t working out. Not to say they aren’t ballsy for taking chances like they did, but there is a huge difference between innovative wardrobe creativity and outright ugly.

The Ugly

I feel it’s always good to start out with the bad, so we can end on a good note. Let’s start off with the world’s favorite tool, Kanye West. Ok, ok… so something like the incredibly rude outburst during Taylor’s acceptance speech is completely expected from him, but if you are going to call someone out and look like an a-hole in front of millions, you should probably at least tuck your shirt in to give you a little credibility. I do not care who made your 500 dollar shirt, it was half tucked in the entire night, as if on purpose, and he carried around a half empty bottle of Courvoisier. Classy, Kanye, Classy.

Perez Hilton. For those who watched, obviously I need not say anything else other than orange hair and rubber gloves. For those who didn’t I am sparing you the details.

The eighth wonder of the world, alternately known as Lady Gaga, came prepared with not just one ridiculously clad outfit, but a couple dozen. My favorite was the red lace number that covered her entire face and then was sheer enough to reveal just enough of her undergarments to make sure people knew there was still a human girl under there. She also thanked “God and the gays” for her win last night, to which Perez Hilton, pink shorts, hair and all, stood up and cheered. Good for him, if he wasn’t wearing plumber’s gloves.

A few others that dressed in the dark were Whitney Port of The City, who sported a supposedly fashion forward ensemble that was unflattering and just confusing as to if it was done being made or not! Olivia Polermo also of The City, came drudged and drowning in a baggy black dress cinched at the waist with a tacky over-sized leopard print belt, making her look frail and bodiless. I don’t know why I am holding them to such high standards, it’s not like they work for Vogue or anything…

The Classy

So, despite my ranting about the ladder mentioned people who shall not be named again, there was some great fashion this year adorning the red carpet. It seemed that either celebrities took it too far in trying to be avant-garde, or they kept it classy in beautiful, mostly casual simplicity. With how crazy the world is today, it’s that down to earth type of fashion that really makes you appreciate the old-school glam of Hollywood that is slowly disappearing. Here are some icons that kept that spirit alive this year:

Beyonce, oozing class from her fingertips, showed off in a short fiery red bubble dress, perfectly casual for the occasion. Her hair was down and free and her makeup natural, giving her this “girl next door who happens to be the Queen of RnB” vibe. Through her empathetic actions towards Taylor Swift and her breath taking performance of “Single Ladies,” she walked away with her Video of the Year moon-man with her head held high!

Her headline counterpart Taylor Swift, swam the sea of red in a glitzy silver detailed gown that drooped to reveal her neck and back. She complimented her simple, elegant look with classic red lips and finger-nails. Kanye looked ridiculous as he inappropriately grabbed the mic out of her beautiful hands. Who said staying on the safe side couldn’t drop jaws!

Some celebs choose to steer clear of anyone who has duplicated any part of their look at an event. Not Pink and Shakira! They came together both wearing a leather stitched tube dress and had a good laugh about it and even took pictures together. It was easy for them to take it lightly because they both look so hot in it! Pink rocked stripper heals and Shakira rocked… well, stripper boots. Pink looked like a rock and roll goddess, while Shakira came off as a sexy Latina bad-ass. Great minds think alike…

Some of our other favorites that were looking particularly chic tonight include The Hills Lauren Conrad and Kristin Cavallari. LC went low-key last night in a black and white short patterned dress, and Kristin, as much as we all hate to admit it, looked hot in a short metallic silver number. Hayley Williams from Paramore was definitely in the “different” category, but she is just so darn adorable it is hard for her to look bad. Her orange do was complimented by an “American Nightmare” vintage tee tucked into a vintage record skirt that actually looked like a vinyl record.

Now for my favorite part… the guys. When it comes to guys on the red carpet, it’s safe to say less is always more. Hot male celebs flooded the event last night, but only a few stood out among the crowd of jackets and ties.

Adam Brody was looking good as always in a casual blue suit with a light grey skinny tie. He may have looked a little bit like he came straight from church, but it worked, and he looked perfectly put together.

Chace Crawford can pretty much look good in just about anything. So, it may be unfair to even comment on his attire, but I will go ahead anyways because I just like talking about him. He rocked his signature “third button down” open shirt look with a black blazer on top and a mop full of messy hair. Needless to say, there was no shortage of screaming pre-teen fans as he waltzed by.

As much as the fashion can be enough to fill our celebrity gossip forums for weeks to come, in the end the winners are who matter. Sorry guys, but there’s no award for looking hot. And the Moon-Man goes to…

Best New Artist- Lady Gaga “Poker Face”

Best Hip-Hop Video- Eminem “We Made You”

Best Male Video- T.I and Rihanna “Live Your Life”

Best Pop Video- Britney Spears “Womanizer”

Best Rock Video- Green Day “21 Guns”

Best Female Video- Taylor Swift “You Belong With Me”

Breakthrough Video- Matt and Kim “Lessons Learned”

Video of the Year- Beyonce “Single Ladies”

And now for the losers…oh wait, no need to make a list, there is only one. Thank you Kanye for ruining your own career so we don’t have to look at you anymore!