2015 MTV Video Music Awards Recap

Ok, I’m on a deadline and so it is incumbent on me to write something about the MTV Video Music Awards. I really don’t want to, because, as my daddy always told me; if you can’t say something good about someone (or something) don’t say anything at all. But, since my editor is forcing me to; here goes…

You know what I’m describing here if you have ever driven by a car accident. You say you don’t want to, but you always look. You may not see much, or you may see a scene which will be horrifically etched in your mind, but let’s face it, that is exactly what you’re really looking for. To see total carnage! Blood and guts on the highway! Come on, you know it’s true.

Well, the train wreck that was the 2105 version of the MTV VMA’s was just that tragic incident. It was weird from the start, of course, with Miley Cyrus providing the very gore being searched out, not just with her many wardrobe atrocities, but literally anything that came out of her mouth.

Iggy Azalea on stage at the invitation of Demi Lovato, provided a rambling incoherent rap which was yet another image that will cause memory discomfort. But you looked anyway.

Were those Justin Bieber’s tears or was that a smudge in the windshield? We can’t be sure, but we know you didn’t glance away, you looked as hard as you could. Then you metaphorically drove back by on your DVR to see if they were, in fact, real tears. So sad…

There was Ms. Minaj’s screeching tires (voice) as she mouthed much nonsense, including some snarky shots aimed at Ms. Miley. Oh, yeah, that was an out-of-control skid…

But the best of all was the bloody brain-matter that was Kanye West’s rumblin’, stumblin’, bumblin’ acceptance speech upon receiving his Video Vanguard award, ironically (or was it) presented by none other than Taylor Swift. There was the sort-of apology to Swift for his stealing of the mic back when and, well you know the rest… The wondering out loud, (but never answering his own question) if he would have performed that stunt if he’d had a daughter at the time… The visuals of Swift, who had snuck down to stand next to wife, Kim K. where they both tried to avert their eyes  from the bloody mess, but couldn’t either… There was the admission that he was driving under the influence, because he clearly shouldn’t have been driving heavy (or any) machinery in his altered state of consciousness… There was the misguided reference to his age (a 38 year old is, by definition, not a millennial) with the, “We Millennials, bro…” proclamation…

But declaring a run for President in 2020 was really what brought everything back between the white lines. My only question is, what’s wrong with 2016?!?!