Tiger Woods digs into pocket to deal with “transgressions”

Apparently taking a page from the Kobe Bryant book of cheater etiquette, the ‘alleged’ philanderer, Tiger Woods is coming to the table with the elements that matter most: cash, in order to address some of his “transgressional” issues.

First of all, according to sources sprinkled around the country, it has been claimed that Rachel Uchitel, the hostess/party girl originally rumored as a Tiger-tryst (and initially thought to have caused the ‘careless’ driving by Tiger) received a nice lump sum from Tiger’s people to cancel her press conference. I personally thought it was odd that it was so abruptly cancelled, But now that makes sense.  The unconfirmed number which has been tossed about is $5 million.

Photo from Amagill via Flickr

In terms of the jilted spouse, unconfirmed sources have also indicated Woods’ wife Elin is going to receive $5 million immediately (apparently Kobe got away cheap). In addition, Tiger’s ‘people’ (who are they anyway?) have offered to redo their pre-nutial agreement and kick in another another $75 million for hanging in there for a specified amount of time.

According to The Daily Beast, the ‘pre-nup’ has been shortened to vest in seven years, meaning that Elin and Tiger have only two years to go until she would receive the original amount (purported to be about $10 million), but there’s also a new agreement spelling out certain payments to be made after five additional years. So for Elin to collect $80 million, she would need to stay with Tiger a total of another seven years. I’m sure that would include showing up with him at social events and in public, taking care of the kids, and executing a nondisclosure agreement that will prevent her from ever telling her story.

The “intense” counseling that’s reported to be underway between the couple is apparently being coupled with intense ‘counselor’ negotiations between their legal counsel. The situation has progressed beyond the sublime to a level that of being bizarre, but as you’re reading this it appears that it will be in the news for a while